54

"Give me freedom, give me fire, give me reason, take me higher" - Mando Diao

In 54 hours, I'll know whether I've been offered the CIEE Leadership Academy Scholarship. This is my designated beginning of the Speedwell Foundation Scholarship waiting period, as I have until the end of March to hear whether or not I've been offered this scholarship. For the past three days, I've been doing the hourly (that's a bit conservative - more like every 45 minutes) email check, and I'm rather exhausted with it.

I've been waiting eight months (just tallied that up) to know whether I've gotten a scholarship. It's hard to believe it's been that long because, as time has absolutely flew, though it's stood positively still at some points. Eight months of dreaming, waiting, planning, saving money, devising backup plans, of being disappointed, of being excited. Eight months of phone calls, emails, forms, essays, and recommendations. Eight months.

Through the beginning of December, I would ride my bike, probably about a mile to the Saubel's to buy some pastries, ride around town a bit, and ride bike. Sometimes, during these rides, my mind wandered to exchange and to the thought of the scholarships I applied to. A few days ago, it was finally warm enough to bike to Saubel's again, and once again my mind wandered to exchange. At that moment, I realized just how fast this year has gone by, how fast every year goes by, how fast my exchange year will go by. But, really, it feels like just yesterday that I googled "study abroad scholarships" by chance, back in early July, during the week between Chinese camp and my departure to Europe.

I've been waiting eight months. Now, I'll know CIEE by Friday, Speedwell within the next couple of weeks, and CBYX within a month. It's easy to be overcome by the excitement of this, the fact that I could be notified for two of my scholarships at any point.

I JUST CHECKED MY EMAIL I GOT A SCHOLARSHIP TO SENEGAL WHILE WRITING THIS OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I WAS TRYING TO BE CALM. I'm going to write later.